Interim – Just a taste

Yaitmathang Country

9-12 December 2024

I miss it. It’s like one of my heart’s ventricles has been carved out and I’m expected to function on what remains. It’s a vital part of me, and its absence creates this enormous wound that makes life so much more difficult without its ever-present rhythm. 

Oh, sure. I’ve gone for some 20km rides around town on flat roads and bike paths. I dangled my arm when the pain came and braked primarily with the front brake as much as I could. But that is not RIDING. That is just a teardrop in a bucket floating on a dam. 

I MISS RIDING. It gnaws at me. It claws at me. I dream about it – my subconscious trying to fill in the blanks while I sleep.

The shoulder injury is still giving me lots of grief. I should have come good at least 6 weeks ago. I am vigilant and dedicated to the rehab exercises. I’ve done everything the physio has said. Yet, still, I have quite limited ROM and a whole lot of abduction pain above a certain point. Sad to say, but should the opportunity for the ‘chicken dance’ present itself at upcoming Christmas parties, I could not partake. I cannot form my arm into a wing and lift it. I’d be a bit compromised for the YMCA moves as well, but who listens to either of those anymore anyway?!

Someone told me about an amazing acupuncturist. So I booked in. And it was amazing. Like beyond amazing!!!! It’s the most relaxed I’ve felt in 20 years – since I smoked pot as a teenager. Seriously, it was just the most chill feeling afterward. AND, it gave me so much ROM and so much less pain for about 3 days.

Sadly, the acupuncturist was returning to Melbourne for the next 6 months and could not continue treatment. She thought it would take 4-5 sessions to get back to normal. Oh, what could have been!

So I booked in with the other acupuncturist in town and it was AWFUL!! At the time, I felt like I was being tortured and the man took enjoyment in being really aggressive and giving me pain. Not only did I bruise very badly, but it took me backwards in ROM and pain by weeks. Ugh.

Amongst all this, we had the worst November and early December I can remember. It was extremely hot and humid (which is unusual for us, but becoming more common with climate change) for several weeks and I didn’t feel like doing much at all. Plus, for two weeks straight, our area had extreme pollen levels that were off the charts (record high counts – thanks again to climate change). 

There was a thunderstorm asthma event that saw 200 people turn up to our emergency room over a couple hours one night (I couldn’t breathe either and the ventolin inhaler did nothing, but I just wheezed and coughed all night and hoped it wouldn’t get worse). Since fixing up my gut, I have very little to no issues with my asthma or hayfever, but apparently, off-the-charts, record high ryegrass will still give me some grief. 

So, basically, I just hid inside for most of November and thought about how much I missed my bike and how I should be out on tour making the most of the gap between contracts.

So… even though my arm is still cranky, very cranky, I just have to go ride my bike. I’m getting desperate. The weather forecast is the nicest we’ve had since early October and the humidity has finally gone. I have to take advantage of this. The weather forecast is just too good to stay at home. 

The idea is to go up and leave my car at the Lightning Creek campground and take the bike up some old logging roads I’ve not yet ridden before. I’ll only be out for a couple nights. I can make a figure-8 route that crosses the main road at the top, middle and bottom. If my arm is too bad, I can just roll back down the main road and cut out the rest.

9 December 2024

It’s about a two hour drive from home to the campground. The final 20 kays are along the winding, 30kph advisory speed curves following Snowy Creek down in a tight valley. This, the Omeo Highway, is one of my top two favourite sealed rides. I’ve ridden it several times now and it is just so much fun. I wish I were riding it properly, instead of driving up part way. 

The campground is empty. This is one of the most popular along this road, and I thought there’d be a few people around. But it is that odd time of year – just a couple weeks before Christmas and most travellers are heading home for the holidays and the holiday tourists are not yet hitting the road (this place will pack out from 26 Dec to sometime in Jan). 

I pull my touring bike out of the car boot, put the front wheel back on, and put the cable back in the rim brakes. I take the bike for a quick spin around the campground to ensure everything is running smooth – it’s much easier to adjust brakes, etc here, where there is a picnic table, than somewhere down the road.

It is immediately apparent that my arm is not happy at all. Even the ride around the campground sends pain down my arm and across my traps. Fuck. It would be stupid to load up the bike and go. I wouldn’t make it far. 

So I sit down on the picnic bench, feel sorry for myself for a few minutes, and then come up with a new plan. Let’s just camp here and do some day rides. If there’s no one here now, it’s not going to get packed out. I hate campgrounds because of the constant opening and closing of vehicle doors, the sound of generators, kids, drunk people and pets, and the air pollution coming from campfires. But… it is quiet, and I think I might get away without many people coming to set up. 

So I lock the bike to the picnic table, set up my tent to stake out my spot, and then take off for a bushwalk up a steep track I wouldn’t be able to ride on the touring bike (I’d have to push up the first bit on my mtn bike, but beyond the first steep pinch it would be rideable on a mtn bike).

I walk up the hill for 2.5 hours along the fire trail, gaining elevation and a view up the Bogong Branch of Snowy Creek. I do love the intricate maze of tributaries and drainages in Southeast Oz – a million v-shaped, twisting veins cut into the mountains, each little creek leading to a larger one in a mass of plateaus. It’s a bit like Canyonlands with trees. 

I turn back once the flies get obnoxiously sticky, with a fair number trying to land all over my face. I use a small branch with leaves as a windscreen wiper of sorts as I walk back down to camp. Then I spend the afternoon hanging in the creek, letting the water rush past my limbs and feeling the coolness contrast with the sun above. 

Dusk is slowly followed by night. We are so close to the longest day of the year. One guy comes to camp just after sun down, but he is solo and doesn’t make a fire. All good. There are no obnoxious birds disturbing the quiet. All good. 

I sleep well, even though I have no pillows. I really didn’t think I would be car camping so I didn’t bring a chair or pillows or any of the comforts you can include when you bring a car. 

10 December 2024

The guy down the end is packing up at first light and heading out. I’m getting together my gear just as he drives away. Last night was cool enough to get in the sleeping bag and zip it up. After so much heat so early this season, that was blissfully devine!

I ride out of the campground and follow Lightning Creek upstream. The road is fairly flat to start, just long enough to get warmed up and ready for a climb. We weave through many curves heading this way and that, still deep down in the shadows of the surrounding mountains. 

I haven’t ridden too much pavement in the past few years, and when I’ve been on the bike path around town, there is always ambient noise. So it is novel to cruise along uphill in so much silence. I am so used to the crunch of the mountain bike tyres on gravel that a silent ascent almost feels wrong! 

I was worried that I would not have the cardio fitness to do an 18 km climb since I haven’t been on the bike much. I thought I might not have the muscles to make it easy. But never fear, I am totally good to go. 

I do 2 sessions of sprint intervals each week, as well as 1 HIIT session and 3 15-minute pylometric sessions (for bone density), and that is apparently quite sufficient, as my heart rate and breathing remain really good the whole way up. My leg muscles never hurt and are quite fine to power me up the hill. In additon to the SIT, HIIT and pylometrics, I do 2 leg days and 1 arm day (well, ½ an arm day) at the gym each week, and I can leg press 300 lbs now… so even though I haven’t been on the bike, all the work at the park and the gym translates directly to the ride. That is good stuff. 

I never need granny gear, but I do appreciate the tiny jumps betwen gears on the 3X9. I have very good low gearing on the mountain bike, but the jumps between gears are bigger on that 1X12. The bikes are two very different beasts. I think I prefer the mountain bike these days.  I am reminded as I ride how much better this bike, my touring Cannondale, rides when loaded than without panniers. It feels so twitchy and skittish with only one small pannier on the rear. 

But ah, my soul lifts. This is what I was born to do: mountain climbs. There is nothing better in life than legs churning away at a comfortable cadence, heart beating steadily, lungs causing your chest to rise and fall as you turn corner after corner on a road clinging to the side of a steep hill. I love the challenge and I love the rhythm. I love reading the road and knowing just when to shift down or up as the grade changes. I love watching all the trees pass by slowly and the vistas come into view up the valley or over to distant ridges as I climb higher and higher.

After a few kays, the valley opens up and the sun reaches the road where the Lightning Creek drainage heads off to the east. Our road follows another small tributary and then crosses back to the other side of the ridge and back into the shade at Bogong Saddle. From here forward, you get glimpses of Malthauser Ridge and up to the area above treeline below Mt Bogong itself. 

We keep climbing. My shoulder is not happy at all. But I ignore it. I’m not doing any movements that will exacerbate injury, I’m just amping up the cranky sub-acromial bursa. So on we go. We curve up and up through the trees on good pavement, following the Snowy Creek valley upstream. Over on the other side of the valley is the Snowy Creek Logging Road, the gravel road I would have preferred to ride. It will just have to remain on my ‘to-ride’ list. 

I turn around at Christmas Creek saddle after about 3 hours of riding. I’m not exactly sure because my bike computer isn’t working and my phone is off. My arm is very, very cranky at this point and I know that there is a bit more climbing ahead before a long downhill into the Big River valley. My arm does not have that in it today.

Downhill is even more painful, but I just grin and bear it. Downhill is much more jarring. Without suspension, all those bumps travel right up my arm. Ouchy X 10. I also need to grip the bars continuously so I can brake as needed, so my poor shoulder never gets a break. 

Boy, do I love the downhill reward after a long climb, but this one is quite painful today. One of the things I love about riding a fast downhill is the challenge of finding the apex and the cleanest line through a corner, particularly when it is just corner after corner like this road. I love finding the right amount of lean and the right amount of speed to carry into a corner. I love feeling like the bike is just an extension of me as we zing through a left-hand corner at an angle, pull upright and then lean over to the other side for the next right-hand corner. I love the adrenaline and dopamine hit as you go faster and faster and use the brakes as little as possible. I love looking down to the guys in my handlebar bag and seeing their heads moving in what looks like a very fast nodding ‘YES” as the vibrations travel through their fluff. 

Yes… this is so much fun! I have missed this so sorely. 

By the time we make it back to the campground, my arm is very sore, too. It is in super cranky mode and wants to do nothing but hang limp. That’s okay, we’re going to crawl back in the tent anyway. It’s still quite cool, and I got pretty chilled on the downhill in only my shorts and tshirt. We’re going to get warmed up in the tent. 

I spend the rest of the day relaxing in the creek and above it, just taking in the sound of water tumbling over, and occasionally displacing, rocks. I watch the clouds float overhead and the upper tree canopy wave in the wind. Once the flies get obnoxious, I pull the fly off my tent and crawl in there to nap. It’s an easygoing and slow afternoon. I do a bunch of breathwork and enjoy the lack of stimulation. I enjoy the lack of phone signal. Ahhh….. I’ve missed the tent, too!

I think about how much I’ve missed the bike and how it has always been such a huge part of my life. For as long as I can remember, it’s always been my go-to activity. 

I think about how I’ve gotten so bored with hiking over the past few months. I’m glad I’ve been able to do some of the hikes on my list, but at the same time, I was always sad I couldn’t be biking those routes instead. 

I come to the conclusion that the reason I find cycling so superior to hiking is because it involves so much more skill. Anybody can go for a walk. Hiking generally doesn’t require any skill. If you can walk, you can hike. And as long as you have shoes that fit, you can hike for a long, long time, even if you don’t have great fitness or any skill. 

Cycling, on the other hand, requires you to be thinking all the time – reading the road, the traffic, the road surface, the road grade, the curves, the hazards, etc. The more skilled you are, the faster you can go, which then requires more skill. You can always get better at bike handling and reading the environment. There is no upper limit to how much better you can get. 

For me, the opportunity to always be improving and building skills, and constantly getting faster and more adept at handling the bike is a big draw for me. I love the speed and the feeling of accomplishment. I can go for a 20-km walk (and I’ve done a heap of those these past four months!) and not feel like I’ve achieved much but walked a decent distance. Give me a 20 km climb with super steep gradients and a bunch of gravel when I’m on the bike and I feel like I’ve done something! And then I get the downhill reward. What do I get when I’m walking…?  Just the same distance back the other way at a similar speed.  Haha!

I do find backpacking challenging though, and that can get me places I can’t go on the bike. I also find some of the hikes to mountain peaks to be challenging when you have no trail and have to devise your own route over tundra and clamber over talus, etc. Being alpine is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. But just hiking and walking… well, I would much, much rather ride, where I have to think and use my skills rather than just plodding along.

So I think about that for awhile and I think that it really must come down to “flow”. Here’s a quick summary below but it’s really all about doing something that is challenging but that you can master and how you get caught up in the activity and lose sense of time. I learned about this in a “Literature and Social Sensitivity” subject back at uni when we read the book.

I can find the flow state when riding very easily, and I think that is part of what makes it so addictive (besides the dopamine dumps). I can also find it on some difficult mountain climbing hikes. But I just don’t get that feeling when walking or hiking established trails. I think once you’ve known ‘flow’, you seek that out in future endeavours. And so I think that’s why I like the bike the most. Walking or hiking just doesn’t require the skills to get you into that state. 

No one comes to camp tonight. The obnoxious birds don’t show either. It’s just me, the guys and the river. In the lead-up to Christmas, it’s nice to get out of the rush and all the people stressing out. With 24 Christmases in Oz, I can still say it never feels like Christmas. That’s a holiday I left behind in the Northern Hemisphere. I go to friends’ Christmas parties (5 this year – too much for introvert Em!), but it’s like we’re celebrating something… just not Christmas!  

It’s another really nice night in the tent minus pillows. I am very much into pillows at home – I have 5 on the bed to find the perfect head height, shoulder propping, and softness to lean into – so camping and bike touring is always a bit spartan with NO pillow! I’m not buying one though – clothes stuffed in the pannier is still quite fine for me. 

11 December

I rise early again and do an exact repeat of yesterday. Up to Christmas Creek Saddle on the bike, back down to camp, cranky, limp arm, relax in the river and tent and contemplate things that get shoved to the side in day-to-day life. 

12 December

On Thursday, I feel rejuvenated and head home. I’ll be able to catch the late week HIIT session at the gym. I can do most things at the gym in some way, or modify exercises to suit, and I  haven’t missed any strength sessions since being back in Oz, even with a shoulder that won’t come out to play. I’ll have attended 130 sessions this year, even with 6 weeks missed because of America, and the three months of intensive travel doing workshops all over southwest NSW at the beginning of the year. I am much stronger now, even with the injury. 

I go for an MRI and a cortisone shot in late Jan. If my injury has developed into frozen shoulder, as is somewhat common, then I’ll be up for hydrodilatation after that. That particular procedure was the game-changer when I had the other frozen shoulder… so I have some hope that I should be on the mend in the next few months. I’ll keep up the gym visits since that has shown me that I can just hop directly on the bike and be ride-fit. 

I’m also looking at maps for March. There are no school holidays that month. Easter is late this year. My contract is not likely to start until April, and the short-term work I’m lining up at the moment will likely be finished by then. So I have this little flame of hope that I can go for a proper ride in March for a few weeks. 

Now… to keep healing that arm and fan that flame into fire.